Cold Winter Love
by twilightlover1195
Summary: Bella lost her memory at 13 for no apparent reason. Now that she is 16 she has been having nightmares. She thinks they might have to do with her past, but how can that be if the dreams take place in the Rennissiance Time.
1. Chapter 1

**Cold Winter Love**

_I knew that it was just a dream, but it felt so real. I was running in the middle of a dark forest, and it was cold. I think it was snowing but I could not be too sure since I had tears in my eyes. I was running for my life. I knew that much was true, but I knew that if I was caught I would rather die than give away my secrets. I had to protect him and that is all. I had to find a place to hide and quickly. I look down at my dress and hold it with my left hand while pushing the branches and trees out of my face. The moon is full and bright but it does little with helping me see. _

_"Find her and bring her to me" a deep male voice says close by. A shiver went up my spine and I knew I had to hide. The cloak I was wearing did little to protect me from the cold fearful night. RUN RUN RUN! That is all I was telling myself. All of a sudden I feel my knees go weak and I fall. I lay in the middle of the forest on the ground. I look up and see the moon and indeed it is snowing. My cheeks and hands are cold. I'm breathing heavily. I close my eyes and darkness seems to overtake me. The last thing I heard before I fell deeply unconscious was_

_"Let's go before they find her."_

I wake up in and it is still dark. Like my dream my cheeks are icy cold. I am sweating, and can't breathe. I sit up lean on my knees and pull my hair back. Then I lean against my headboard. I've been having the same dream for two months now. They feel so real when I am asleep and when I am awake. They can't be real though. Or can they?

**_This is my first story so can you tell me what you think? Should I continue or start a new one? I am sorry that it's so short, the next one will be longer._**


	2. Chapter 2

After I finish getting ready for school I go downstairs and see that my parents left. I was adopted by Charlie and Renee when I was two years old when they found me on their doorstep in only a thin knitted blanket. No one knows what happens to my real parents. Charlie being a Chief was capable of looking for any lost children reports. There were none. The only that I do have from my parents are was a golden necklace with my name "_**Bella"**_ and "_**We Love You" **_engraved on it and a note that read

_**Dear Sawn Family,**_

_** This may be strange to hear but my wife and I have been observing you for the past month in a half. We mean no harm to you, we just ask of a favor.**_ _**You see we are not capable of taking care of our daughter any longer. She is in grave danger if she stays with us. We are giving her up to protect her not because we do not love her. This is the most difficult decision my wife and I have had to make. We are heartbroken that this is the only way to keep Bella safe. Please take her of her and love her as if you were her real parents. Tell her that we loved her and that we love her no less than any parent loves their child. Now I know that the next thing I am about to ask of you is crazy but you need to move out of Florida. MOVE AND DO NOT GIVE ANY EXPLENATION AS TO WHY. DO NOT EVEN MENTION BELLA. When you are away pretend that Bella is biologically yours. Don not tell anyone she is adopted, and most importantly she is not allowed under any circumstances to come back to Florida. PLEASE. All this is for her own safety. We have no family to give her to so you are our only hope. Protect and love her as if she were your own. The only thing we can give her is the necklace she is wearing, a Birth Certificate with both of you listed as biological parents-don't worry no one will ever suspect anything-and this letter if you ever show it to her. We understand if you never mention us to her, but if you do let her read the next part…**_

_**Bella your mother and I love you. I'm sorry sweetheart but we had to leave you with the Swan family. They are really nice people. Don't try to find us honey because it will be to no avail. We would have loved to see you grow up and be happy but Charlie and Renee are going to be the ones to see that. Bella the day you fall in love and have your own children you will see how big the love for them is. Hopefully you will understand why we have to leave you. A love for your child is so big you would give your life for them. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive us. I am also s**_

_** With all our Love,**_

_**Mom and Dad**_

For some time I did try to find my parents but it is kind of hard to do when they never give you a name of any sort or last name. My Birth Certificate says Isabella Swan and as parents it says Charlie Swan and Renee Swan. It also says that I was born at home in New Jersey on November 6, 1995 at three a.m. Also all of Charlie's and Renee's records of ever being in Florida disappeared, they were all somehow now in relation with New Jersey. Apparently my biological parents made sure that it looked like Renee and Charlie were my real parents and that they never existed. It makes me mad especially because I do not know the reason behind their decision. But at the same time it makes me wonder what type of parents I had. Did they do something bad that caused me to be in danger?

Renee and Charlie are the best parents I could have asked for. They are so sweet and selfless. Everyone loved them and so did I. I can see why my parents chose them. After all they did watch them a good period of time to know. They have never hidden from me the fact that I was adopted but only the three of us new this. Everyone else thought I was their child. Renee cannot have children so when I appeared on their doorstep they both saw it as a blessing. They did not even care of the conditions; they actually felt more protective of me. We moved from Florida that same day and were living in a hotel until Charlie bought a house in Forks. The same house we have lived in for the past 14 years.

_**Sorry it took over a moth to update I've been really busy with school and all. I unfortunately do not own Twilight. Please review and tell me what you think.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**I know it's been a year since I last updated but my life had gone through a roller coaster, and I just didn't have time to continue the story. In the last couple months things have finally come to normal. I will try to update this story as often as I can but there will be times that I take some time because I am still in high school and take three AP classes. For instance I should be studying for my AP Euro test this week but I got this perfect idea on this story and I just had to continue it. I do not care if it takes me a year but I will finish this story. I hope I get reviews because the more I get the faster I might be able to update if I see people actually like my story **** Sadly I do not own Twilight or the characters ****.**

After my accident, things have been crazy. My parents rarely let me go out on my own. The only time I really ever was alone it was because I was on my way to school. See a couple years ago I got into an accident that I do not remember anything about. All I know is that one moment I was sleeping in my room, and the next I am being rushed into the hospital. All I could see was the lights on the top flashing by. Everything was blurry, and I was told that I kept calling for my mom and dad. I was covered with scrapes on my hands, arms, legs, and face. Anything that happened before that is blank. Not even a blur, just plain nothingness. I didn't recognize anyone in the hospital room that day after the doctors were done examining me. I remember screaming, crying, kicking, until I was sedated. When I woke up the next day I was a lot calmer, and was told about my past. Well as much as my parents were capable of telling me with my friends there. After my friends Catherine, Kelly, and Steven left my parents told me the truth. They explained how I was adopted and they told me about my parents. Or as much as they could because they also didn't have much besides the letter. I was shocked to say the least and at first I didn't believe them, but something in me told to do so.

It has been three years and I still have no clue about anything before the day of the accident. My parents think it might have something to do with my past that not even they know about. This has caused me to want and search for my biological parents but I didn't even know where to start. Sometimes I felt like I didn't even exist because I just came out of nowhere. My parents still stick to calling me their blessing but how could I believe them. My parents left me on a doorstep with a necklace and a note. A note that only explained what should be done to completely erase them from my life. I really did feel worthless at times.

As I was thinking this I felt my back pocket vibrate.

_Hey __ meet you at your locker; I have a surprise to show you!_

I couldn't help but smile at the message I received from Catherine. She was one of my closest friends. Well to be honest I wasn't all that popular but I wasn't a complete no body either. Okay so maybe just a little. Besides Catherine there was Kelly and Steven. The tree of them were my greatest friends. My other friends were all pretty cool as well but I wasn't as close to them as the other three.

As I was getting out of my house to close the door I felt a really cold breeze and hoped that it wouldn't get colder since I didn't feel like going upstairs to my room to get a jacket. I just wanted to get in my car and drive. I loved to drive, and see everything past by me. It gave me time to think on my own. My room and car where my sanctuary. As I was about to get in my car I felt that familiar pain on the side of my head. The same pain I have felt since the day of the accident. At first I told my parents about it but after two weeks I decided that maybe I should keep this a secret hoping it would pass. Well it has been three years and it's still there. This time I didn't keep it a secret in hopes that it would just go away but because something told me I should.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Once I finally arrived at school I parked the car and got out. The weather was still chilly and so I wrapped the thin sweater a little tighter around me. I had arrived to school ten minutes before the bell, that let us enter the school, rang. The good thing about being a well liked student was that I got special privileges. I rung the bell that connected to the office so that the secretary could answer.

"How may I help you?" the secretary asked on the other end.

"It's Bella."

"Oh, Bella you're quite early today. I'll let you right in darling just give a second." After waiting for just a couple of seconds the door unlocked and I walked into the school, and was consumed by the warm air. I was finally capable of feeling my face.

I smiled at the secretary as I passed by the office, and she waved back. I was on my way to my locker, when my head began to hurt again. I had to stop for a second for the sudden pain, and take a deep breath before I continued. As I was walking I started to feel a little dizzy, but I ignored it and continued walking. When I finally arrived at my locker, I tried to unlock my lock, but the numbers where hard to see, and so I just winged it and guessed the numbers I was turning. I finally opened my locker and started fixing my books. All of a sudden my head starting hurting again, but this time so did my stomach. I wanted to scream but I couldn't because right at that moment Catherine walked up to me and the bell rang. Everyone began to pile in the hallway, and it began to get really noisy.

"Hey you okay? You look a little pale?" Catherine asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine… just a little tired is all." I didn't look at Catherine, because I knew she could tell that I was lying.

"I don't buy that for on-" I cut her off before she could continue.

"So what is the surprise you wanted to show me?" I asked her.

"Oh, so I was talking to Steven and Kelly, and guess what?" she asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Umm… I don't Catherine, can't you just tell me. I'm not really in the mood to guess."

"Well Bella if you must know," she began and I just rolled my eyes at her, "we got permission from our parents to go on that school trip during Christmas break to that cabin with our English class."

"Oh, that's cool. I hope you guys' have-"

"Don't even start with that. You're going as well."

"Cathy, come on you know I want to go, but my parents won't let me. Not after the accident."

"Don't you Cathy me, you're going. Bella, the accident happened a long time ago. Your parents can't keep you on a tight leash forever. And besides it's not like you asked your parents if you could go. You're just assuming, and that does not count."

"Fine! I'll ask. But! I don't make any promises."

"EEPP! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You won't regret it. I can promise you that." Cathy hugged me and when she let me go she started jumping and clapping at the same time. She was really short, and so this made her look like a little child, and I had to laugh.

"What?" she asked totally confused.

"You look like a pixie when you do that," I said as I continued to laugh. Cathy stuck out her tongue at me and said whatever before she walked away to her first period class Art. That girl could draw.

When she was half way down the hallway, and I was closing my locker she yelled "By the way, you aren't completely wrong on the pixie thing." Then she winked and walked away. I shook my head and headed for English. That girl said the weirdest things sometimes, but not only her Kelly and Steven always said weird things as well. Lately they have been doing it a lot, but I think it's just because they are all just weird. I loved them anyway.

"Hey girl, what's up?" I turned to find Kelly smiling at me. She was a really pretty girl. The most beautiful in the school. She dates the school's track star, Alex. He is a tall guy with a very well toned body. He would scare anyone, if they didn't really know him, but he's actually really nice.

"Hey Kelly. Did you finish your essay for class?"

"Yup, after I had dinner with Alex I went home and finished it. Wasn't that hard if you ask me." Of course it wasn't. We had to right a paper on our family and heritage. Yeah sure I have my parents, but I was so distracted in knowing my true identity that I couldn't really concentrate on my essay.

"Sure was." I smiled and went to take my seat. Just as I was taking out my books, I heard the voice that made my heart skip a beat, and then made it go on overdrive. I put my books on the table and leaned on my hand as I waited for the class to start. From the corner of my eye, I watched as Edward walked down the aisle of desks and took a seat two seats behind me. Cherl was always out so that left an empty seat between Edward and me. I finally looked down, and couldn't help but feel my heart break a little. We never spoke to each other, but over the course of two years I have developed a crush on him. Kelly spoke to him all the time since Alex was his best friend. Oh and did I forget to mention that Edward is also Kelly's twin brother? And I should probably just put it out there that Cathy is their other sister. They're triplets. Yet I only talk to Kelly and Cathy. Edward and I have never had much to talk to each other about. Even though his sisters were my best friends, he never hung out with us. He had his own group. He was very popular, along with Alex and Steven. People loved those three boys. They are sweet, smart and kind. I talk to Alex because he dates Kelly, and Steven is one of my best friends since Cathy and him started dating like five years ago-he always knows what to say and when to say it- I have a feeling those two will last a life time, and I'm not kidding when I say it either. I have the same feeling for Kelly and Alex. They just make the perfect couples.

Finally the bell rang and class begun. I think that at some point I fell asleep, because next thing I knew I was having that same dream I had of me running. But when the bell rung again to signal the end of class, I woke up still not knowing what or who I was running from.

I got out of my seat and started packing up. My head was throbbing but I ignored it. I got out of class and I saw Alex and Kelly talking while looking in my direction. They looked as if they were talking about me, but I wasn't sure, and I really wasn't in the mood to find out. I turned to go to my next class when I bumped into something hard. When I looked up I found myself looking into bright green eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't see you. Are you okay? You look a little pale?" Edward asked me.

"No it was my fault I didn't see where I was going, and yeah I'm fine, just a little tired is all. Sorry again." And with that I continued to walk to class, but not before I turned to see Alex and Kelly talking with Cathy and Steven. Both couples staring between Edward and I, and then just like that that all walked into a classroom. But I must have been seeing things because last time I checked there wasn't a classroom I there, there was just a wall.

_I'm hallucinating, or this headache is much worse than I thought. People can't walk through walls._

I guess I have to get my eyes checked.

**That is the longest chapter I've written so far I think. I know it might be a little confusing, but I promise to try and clear things up as I go along. AP exams are coming up next week and I'm just busy with a lot of things. I promised that I was going to finish this story and I will. Just give me time. Again reviews encourage me to write sooner. Any suggestions? Do Alex, Steven, Kelly, and Catherine remind you of anyone? Again I sadly don't own the Twilight series. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so I don't know how many people will actually read this, but I feel like I should put this. **

**The last time I was on, I was a high school student that was trying to figure out what to do after graduation. Now, I'm a college student who is trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her life. After my last chapter, I had stopped writing because I didn't know how to continue the story, and it made me very upset because I was determined to finish. I took my time away, and thought back to why I even decided to write this in the first place, and asked myself if I should even continue. After more than a year I realized that I did have to finish this, not for anyone else, but for myself. I have always started things and never finished them. I'm the "what if" type of person, and I'm determined to change that when it comes to things that are important to me. I love writing and reading, if I didn't than I wouldn't be an English major. I would like to believe that from 2011 to now I have changed not only as a person but also as a writer, and that also encouraged me to finish this story. My thoughts and ideas for this story have changed from when I first began writing it, and I now have a new direction for it. I reread the first four chapters and realized that I have to edit them and change them, but I don't plan to do that until I'm on my summer break. **

**I don't know how many people will read this story and I don't know how many of those people will like it, but I will finish this story. For those of you that do read, I would be happy to read your comments. I would also appreciate constructive criticism, not hateful comments. I hope that my writing gets better over the course of this experience. I don't want people to believe that I'm doing this as an obligation to prove something, because I'm not. I'm doing this because I love writing, and I don't want to loose something that is important to me. **

**I don't own **_**Twilight**_** or the names of the characters, and now without further ado…**

**Chapter 5**

The day seemed to be dragging on, and the pain in my head was getting stronger. My body began to go on autopilot because every once in a while when I would regain some form of consciousness, I was in a new room with no recollection on how I arrived there. I was starting to get worried because this had never happened to me before. At some point things around me began to spin around, and I was feeling myself loosing balance. I realized that I was in my algebra class and walked as quickly and calmly as I could to my seat. Soon after sitting down I saw Alex walk into the class and throw a quick glance at me. I smiled a forced smile at him, and I think he noticed because he smiled back but his brow was furrowed as if he was worried. He continued to walk towards his seat, at the other side of the room, and I saw him pull out his cellphone, but not before looking back at me. I turned my head, and tried to concentrate on my breathing to keep my head focused on something other than the pain that was now coursing through my body. I heard Cathy's and Kelly's familiar laugh and hoped that they wouldn't notice the way my knuckles were clutched tightly, or the way my eyes were closed shut with more force than was normal. I opened my eyes for and noticed that my vision was becoming blurry. I unclenched my fists and took a deep breath before looking around the room. I looked to Alex and noticed that he was looking at me with a very concentrated look, but his time he was also accompanied by Cathy and Kelly. I smiled at them and jumped when I felt some ones hand over my shoulder. I looked up and noticed that it had been Steven.

"Bella, are you okay?" Steven asked as he began to take his seat beside me. "You look a bit tense."

Before responding I controlled my breathing and nodded my head to hide the fact that I was having trouble breathing. "Yeah," another nod, "I'm fine. I'm just really tired. I had a nightmare last night and it has me a bit shaken up." What I said wasn't a complete lie. I had had a nightmare, and it had shaken me up, but no more than usual. However I was sure that Steven didn't believe what I had just told him, but he smile and nodded anyways. I saw his eyes look behind me and send a short nod no doubt to one of the three of our friends.

"You know Bella, you can always come to any one of us if there is anything wrong. No matter what it is, we will always be by your side, protecting you and helping you. You don't have to worry about sounding crazy around us, because we would believe you. Always." I smiled and thanked Steven. I wanted to tell him, but I no longer had the strength to speak so I turned and faced the front of the classroom. I think he thought that I was going to spill what I was holding back, but after just staring at the side of my face for the next two minutes he sighed and faced the front of the room was well. Shortly after, our teacher walked into the room and began the lesson. I don't remember anything that was discussed in class, but I was aware that it was time to go to lunch when the bell rang. I waited for the students and teacher to walk out of the room before I could try to get up from my seat.

"Bella, are you coming?" Kelly asked from the doorway. Cathy, Steven, and Alex were standing behind her, all giving me strange looks of pain and worry.

"Yeah, just save me a seat, I'll meet you guys in the cafeteria, I have to go to my locker." I noticed that Alex was about to protest but Cathy held him back and smiled at me.

"Okay, but don't take too long, we have to discuss something very important." Cathy said as she gave me look that I knew meant that I was going to tell them what was going on whether I wanted to or not. I nodded back at her smiled, getting annoyed because it seemed as if that was the only thing I was capable of today. My friends nodded back at me and walked away.

I took a deep breath and began to support myself on my desk to help me stand up. It was painful, but I was able to stand and walk out the room with my book bag hanging on one shoulder. I leaned on the wall next to my algebra class and walked over to my locker that was around the corner. I was able to open my locker the way I had that morning and was just glad that I was still able to stand.

As I was putting my books away and pulling out the books I would use for my next class, a strong pain pricked my heart. It was like nothing I had ever felt every before. I clutched my chest and was prepared to collapse. All the pain that had been around my body was now all in my heart. I wanted to scream and ask for help, but I couldn't. The pain didn't let me breath and I was beginning to get scared. All of a sudden the pain disappeared, and all that was left was a small pressure. There was no more pain or dizziness. I was able to stand up straight and breath with no pain. I burrowed my brow and looked around me making sure no one was looking at me. I was alone in the hallway. After a couple of minutes of confusion, I resumed to my previous task and when I was done I left for the cafeteria. When I rounded the corner I froze at what I saw in front of me.

Edward Cullen had his arms around Emily Henderson's waist and she had her arms around his neck combing her fingers through his hair. Emily's back was resting against the wall and their foreheads were touching. Seeing them like this caused a painful emptiness in my chest. Unlike before, I couldn't breath my way around this pain. I couldn't even move from my position no matter how hard I tried. Edward and Emily had been best friends before they began dating at the end of last year. When I had gone to Cathy and Kelly's house over the summer, Emily was also there most of the time. Edward and her were inseparable throughout the whole summer. I knew for a fact that Emily was one of the kindest girls in the school, and I could see why Edward fell for her. Everyone loved her. She was the smartest girl in the school. She was on a sports team every season. She did a lot of community service both in and out of school. Emily was the role model that everyone wanted as his or her friend, daughter, and student. Edward was just the lucky one that got her as his girlfriend. But that didn't change the fact that I didn't want them together.

I stood there for I don't know how long, without me moving, and without them noticing that I was there. Others looking at them like this would be happy for them, and aw at their closeness, but I had had enough of it. I was finally able to look down and walk forward since there was no way other than this hallway to get to the cafeteria. I continued to look at my feet as I passed them, and began to walk faster with every step I took. When I reached the stairs to the doorway I looked behind me and saw them pull apart from their kiss. They began to smile at each other, and I had to smile at how pathetic I would seem to someone else. I walked through the door, went down the stairs and headed towards the cafeteria.

The cafeteria was filled with students' voices and laughter. I quickly looked at the right end side of the cafeteria and saw my group sitting and enjoying their day. I walked towards them and when they saw me they smiled once they realized that I was better and not acting all weird as I was before.

"Hey Bella! It's great to see that you look much better." Alex yelled from the table even though I still needed to walk through the other half of the cafeteria. I hated having people look at me and so naturally I blushed and looked down wishing I had let my hair down.

"Bella we were really worried about you. You have been acting really strange all day and we just want to make sure that there isn't anything wrong." Kelly asked me once I sat down at the table. Cathy just nodded her head while giving me the looking at me with a worried expression.

I smiled at my friends and said, " I'm fine guys. I just had really bad craps all morning and couldn't go to my locker all day until after algebra. I feel much better now though so there is no need to worry." As soon as I finished everyone's face looked relieved, all but Stevens. He gave me a tight smile and I knew that he again knew that I was lying. I avoided his gaze and it took me to notice that there were two more empty seats placed at our table.

"Who are those?" I asked.

Cathy was quick to answer, "For my brother and his girlfriend." My eyes widened and my pulse quickened at her response. I never told any of my friends about my crush on Edward, so I tried to compose myself quickly before anyone questioned me.

"Oh," was my only response.

I saw Alex looking at me from the corner of his eyes and I looked down at the table.

"Why are they sitting with us now anyway? Don't they have their own table?" Steven asked. I couldn't help but notice a small hostile tone in his voice and Alex nods his head.

"Apparently he wants Cathy and I to get along with her. He said and I quote, 'I want my sisters to get along with the other important girl in my life and see her as a sister.' Well hate to break it to you buddy but something about that girl rubs me the wrong way, and until I don't find out what it is, I don't even want to ask her about her day." I smiled and laughed.

"What's so funny Bella?" Cathy asked.

I shook my head and said, " It's nothing. It's just that, he's your brother, you should be happy if he is happy. So what if she doesn't "rub you the right way." He likes her and you're going to have to accept that. And if she one days breaks his heart into a million pieces than I'm sure you'll be there to help him through it. Isn't that what siblings are for? To love them and help them when they need help?"

"Exactly, because I want to help him, I don't want him to be too close to her. I don't want him to get hurt that's all." I nodded and shrugged not really wanting to continue this conversation.

_Have you accepted it yet Bella? I bet you want her to break his heart into a million pieces. I can help you. Then he would be all yours. _

"What did you say?" I asked.

"Nothing, we didn't say anything. Why?"

"No, no reason I must have thought I heard something." I frowned.

"Bella are you sure?" Steven leaned over and said in a very calm voice, "You can lie to Cathy and Kelly, and maybe sometimes even Alex, but you can't lie to me. You can tell…"

"I said I'm fine!" I said with unnecessary force, stood from my chair and walked away, but not before I noticed that I made Cathy jump. I felt bad and wanted to sit back down to apologize but at that moment I saw Edward and Emily walk into the cafeteria heading towards our table. I continued to walk and ignored the quick glances the students were throwing my way. I guess I had been louder than I had intended to be.

_I can help you get rid of her. I can help you make him love you. Isn't that all you want? I can make sure you get your happily ever after Bella. _

I clenched my fist and headed towards the exit. Once outside I headed to my car and turned it on. The inside was cold but I couldn't care to wait for it to heat up. I sped out of the parking lot and headed to my meadow that was a little out of Forks. Before I began to walk into the forest I heard that same voice from the cafeteria.

_Don't worry Bella, soon you will get what you want, and I will get what I want._

"And what is it that you want?" I asked. I must be going crazy.

_Oh, now I can't say what that is my dear._

"Why do you even want to help me?"

_Because my sweet Bell if you have what you want, than what I want will be so much easier to accomplish. _

"So, I'm just a pawn." I state.

_That's one way of putting it._

"Yeah I'm going crazy," I say as I hear a laugh that chills me to the bone and makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.


End file.
